Now that I am a few months into college and have watched and experienced hook-up culture and dating culture in college I have noticed a consistent theme. There seems to be a common belief that as women, if we do not look like super models we are required to settle for the first person who tells us we are pretty. As if we are lucky to be graced by their interest and must immediately jump into their open arms, despite how much said arms don’t fit what we are looking for in a partner. We have somehow been conditioned to believe that we are so hard to love, especially plus size girls, that we are lucky that someone is interested in us at all and we ‘can’t be picky.
This is some bullshit. Firstly, because as people we are more than our bodies and our looks. Our size or hair color is not the only thing deciding who we get to date. Secondly,
we are allowed to have standards of our own. To have things that get us excited about a potential partner or turn us away. And those standards can be absolutely anything! They are different for every person and there is no set list.
I fully admit to developing a crush on someone just because they thought I was cute and then looked back and realized that I wasn’t actually into them, I was into the idea that someone was into me and that kind of relationship is doomed to fail.
So please, take some time, learn what you actually want in a partner and don’t compromise that. Yes it will mean that you may be with fewer people than some of your friends but it also means you have a much higher chance of being actually happy. And isn’t that what dating is all about?